The Master Plan
by Psychopathic Dirtbag
Summary: Magneto has a new sure fire plan! This time, he's absolutely sure that it's going to work! Hopefully, his lackeys won't screw it up...


I'm sorry but since I don't like Sabretooth in X-Men Evo, he won't be in this fic. Come to think of it, I don't think he's in any of my fics. XD Well, except for "Vacation?"... Don't get me wrong, Sabretooth's kinda cool in the comics but in the movie, he REALLY looks like a cat then in X-Men Evo, he's just plain annoying. 

Disclaimer: Don't own. Don't sue. End of story. 

**NOTE:** When I say or make the Acolytes seem dumb, it's either to make this fic funnier or it's because the creators of the cartoon of X-Men Evo made them dumb and weak. -_-; 

**"The Master Plan" **

**By: Psychopathic Maniac**

**Chapter One: An Idea?**

Magneto sat at his table, thinking intently of a plan on how to successfully defeat the X-Men. Note the keyword: successful. 

"ARGH!" Magneto exclaimed, suddenly standing up then yanking on what little white hair he had. "How can I defeat them?! None of my plans ever work!" he yelled, suddenly realizing how unsuccessful his plans always were. 

~*~*~ 

"Heh," Pyro chuckled at the sound of groans and inaudible yells coming from Magneto's room. "Sounds like the boss is trying to think of another plan." 

"Seems like it," Gambit said, looking at the cards in his hand. "You got any three's, mon ami?" he asked, glancing at Pyro. 

John looked down at his set of cards. He had 2 of them. 

"Go fish." he said. 

"Pyro!" Colossus complained. "There aren't anymore cards in the pile and I don't have them so obviously, you do!" 

John pretended to seem clueless and tilted his head to the side. "What makes you say that, mate?" 

Colossus' eye twitched. He sighed then said, "I quit,", and dropped his cards on the table. 

"I win!" Pyro cheered. 

Gambit looked at him blankly then said sarcastically as he rolled his eyes, "Sure you did." 

~*~*~ 

"Maybe I can...?" Magneto thought of the possibilities, sitting back down. "Nah. I'll need three hundred pounds of pudding..." 

"Or maybe...!" he jolted back up on his feet. "But...How can I change them into brainless zombies who will obey my every whim?" 

He scratched his head as he tried to think of how they could pull it off. "No. They'll be onto us in a second..." 

It suddenly dawned on him that the X-Men, who were younger than his lackeys, had quite larger IQ points. 

"Damn it." he cursed, then went out of his room. 

~*~*~ 

"You think he's given up?" Pyro asked. 

"Who knows," Gambit replied, shrugging. "At least the boss has quieted down." he added, leaning back on the couch. 

"I guess..." John said doubtfully. "I'm just worried about what he might think of." 

"Why?" Colossus asked absent-mindedly. 

"'Cause during his last plan, I almost killed myself when I tripped on top of the bridge and nearly fell down." Pyro explained. 

"Remember the first time he sent me to go to the Brotherhood's place? It took me a whole day to find it!" Gambit cried, adding more examples to their boss's already large pile of stupid ideas. 

"Like when he ordered me to send a message to Wolverine. The cops were on to me for weeks!" Colossus exclaimed. The three then continued laughing hysterically at Magneto's failed attempts of defeating the X-Men. 

The metal door of Magneto's room suddenly opened then the subject of their conversation walked out, deep in thought. The three teenagers, afraid that they got caught talking about and laughing at their feared leader, stared at him as he made his way to the basement. 

Feeling eyes on him, Magneto turned around to see his lackeys staring right back at him. 

"What are you looking at?!" he exclaimed, blanching terribly. 

"Nothing!" Gambit defended as he turned his head to look at something else. 

"Stop looking at me!!" Magneto whined in an insecure manner, covering his ears for some weird reason. 

"We were just thinking about - " Pyro started to explain. 

"About what?! About what a failure I really am?!" Magneto fumed, removing his hands from his ears and balling them into fists. 

"Of course not! You're a great leader!" Gambit shouted. 

"Don't try to flatter me!" Magneto shot back as he crossed his arms in a stubborn manner. 

"We just - !" Pyro started. 

"You think you'll do a better job at it?!?!" Magneto raged, eyes increasing in size.

"No." Colossus simply stated. 

"No?" Magneto repeated. "Okay, then." he shrugged then turned around and went down the stairs leading to the basement, acting as if nothing happened. 

"Boss has got to do something about his out-bursts." Piotr said once the Master of Magnetism was out of hearing range. 

~*~*~ 

"I need to make the X-Men stupid, somehow..." Magneto said, brow furrowed in thought as he went through the isles of inventions, ideas, blue prints, and other machinery. "They're always a step ahead of us." He added bitterly. 

"Water pump?" Magneto read one of the tags of the many machines in the room. "Why the heck do I have a water pump?" He asked himself, pausing for a second. 

He then continued on his way through the several isles. "A vacuum? Toilet seats? A telephone? Damn. Where did all this useless junk come from?" 

He looked around and found nothing interesting. "Where are all the dangerous items?!" he went to another isle and walked through it. 

"Pistols, Shotguns, Rifles..." he continued reading the labels. "These things are useful but we don't need them." he said to himself. 

"Maybe I can switch the brains of my lackeys with a few of the X-Men's?" he asked himself. "It'll help a lot but... Nah. Too much work." 

"Maybe if they were only a _bit_ younger..." he thought aloud. 

A certain machine then caught his eye. 

~*~*~ 

"I have a bad feeling, mates." Pyro said, clutching his stomach and bending forward in his seat. 

"You're probably just hungry." Colossus replied, leaning back on the couch. 

"Or paranoid." Gambit added, shuffling cards. 

"I GOT IT!!!" Magneto exclaimed, barging through the doors of the basement and running into the living room. In his arms was a machine shaped like a bazooka with an upside-down bottle containing liquid on top. 

"Got what boss?" Colossus asked. 

Then Magneto said the line they all dreaded the most... 

"I have a plan!!!" 

And the three teenaged Acolytes groaned. 

"What are you all complaining about?" Magneto asked with a questioning look. "This plan will actually work!" 

"Sure it will." Gambit muttered. 

Magneto snapped his head to look at him. "What did you say?" He asked in a deep voice, a knife flew into the room and was an inch in front of Gambit's neck. 

"I said that your plan will work! I said it will! I did! Oh god! Please don't hurt me!!!" Gambit cried like a baby as he curled up into a hopefully defensive ball.

"Okay then." Magneto shrugged and the knife flew back into the kitchen. He then skipped back into the confinements of his room with a grin plastered on his face. 

"Seeing that everyday will make anyone scarred for life," Colossus thought out loud. "I'm surprised we're normal." 

He turned to his innocently grinning red-haired teammate, who was clutching his painful stomach, then to his brown-haired teammate who was in a fetal position on the floor, shaking every so often.

"On second thought..."

=-=-=-=-= 

What a cute ending! Well, for me at least. *grins weirdly* 

Aren't the characters cuter if they're OOC?? ^_^ It makes the fic funnier too. 

Read and Review!!! ^_^ 


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